Top 5 Things I'd Like For Xmas But I'm Sure No One Gives A Fuck

November 26 2008, 12:21pm

So the festive season is upon us again. Everyone is all jolly and chirpy and why not? Because we're all going be with our love ones, spending quality time together, celebrating the birth of Christ.

I'm sure if we do away with presents it'll be all good and we'll not be seen as cheapskates isn't that right?

Well you're wrong. So wrong. Human being are superficial creatures. If you go to a Kris Kringle without a present, you're considered fucked up. Well, people would of course not say it in your face but deep down inside their hearts, you're fucked up.

Anyway, I'm just having a bad day and just felt like having something to rant about so don't mind me. What WILL cheer me up is to list down a list of stuff that I will like to get for Xmas but probably wouldn't because no one gives a fuck really.

5. Apple Mac Mini

I'm not sure if anyone knows but I am a chronic movie/tv show/warez downloader and whatever I can get my pirate hands on, I will download it. Now the problem here is that while it's all good to watch the videos on my iMac, I have a 42 inch plasma in the living room that neither me or my parents utilize much. Using the mac mini as a HTPC not only does it allow me to watch my videos on the whole plasma tv, it would also eradicate the problem of having friends squeeze into my bedroom while watching a movie together, which can be a bit awkward.

4. Apple Time Capsule

Backups people. They're important. Don't come running to me for help when you lose a file because I can't fucking help you. Also helps to have a backup of my movies so I can maintain my popularity among my peers in case my primary hard disk decides to crap on me. See how all the gifts are inter-related? Synergy's the new word in town.

3. Macbook Nano/Apple Netbook

Theoretically this doesn't exist yet but if Apple were to make one, I'll dump my Macbook Air and get the netbook in a blink of an eye. If by now you still can't detect that I'm an Apple whore, your lack of observation is making me irate. Get the fuck away from my blog.

2. Nintendo Wii

I don't even know why I want one. I haven't even played with one before to tell the truth. But it seems like the Nintendo Wii is getting glowing reviews from everyone who has touched it and it seems to make their pussies so moist that they can't stop recommending it to me that now I want one too.

1. The Power To Have Everyone Frozen And Be The Only One Moving

If you've watched the movie Cashback, you would know what I'm talking about. Imagine the possibilities. Just freezing everyone in the bank and taking money from it or freezing someone you really hate and then farting in their face. But don't worry, I'll only use it for good because with great power comes great fun.

There you go, get me one of these and you'll become my new best friend. And those of you who whines about how I'm not writing more often, should understand that I HAVE A FUCKING JOB.